A Louisiana Gentleman

Scene

MALTER ASHTON’S apartment in Baroness Micaela de Pontalba’s Buildings, the French Quarter, New Orleans. The apartment fronts Jackson Square, the Cabildo Museum, the Saint Louis Cathedral, and the Presbytere—shrines molding in the thick air from the Mississippi River. Giant furnishings bleached by the sun—a chaise longue, an armoire, an oriental carpet of raspberry and cream—dress the room. The apartment seems to scream, “If I had to do it over again, I would prioritize extravagance.” This selfishness is seen in the empty feeling that surrounds the effigies to the past, the statues, the portraits. A portrait of Dr. James Ashton lords over the busts of his children, Malter and Dale on the mantle below. The set contains a balcony, a parlor and a bedroom.

Time

The timeless present. Twilight, that uncertain time when the French Quarter blends into lavender shadows. Lost characters drift out on the streets, joining the tourists with their throw-away cameras and street musicians who play through the night. Outside, the cafes, shops, and drinking houses blink on their lights. The French Quarter attracts the rich and poor to close the door on guilt and savor life.

Act One
Scene 1

Setting: The apartment is piled with medical books and a bare Christmas tree.

At rise: MALTER and GILLIAN are kissing heavily. Bells from the Saint Louis Cathedral chime, a jazz version of “Jingle Bells” clangs from the street, and the doorbell rings nonstop. OFFSTAGE SARA screams out to DALE, who is unloading SARA’S Cadillac.

MALTER
Battered by bells.

SARA
(OFFSTAGE. Into INTERCOM)
I’m downstairs. Loaded with boxes. Your father’s things.

MALTER
My aunt.

SARA
(OFFSTAGE. To DALE)
Dale!

MALTER
We’ll have to make love later.

(A crash. MALTER jumps.)

GILLIAN
(Breathing heavily)
Don’t stop. I’m on fire—

MALTER
I don’t want her to meet you like this.

GILLIAN
The only thing that’s not hot is my feet.

(Banging and yelling outside. He pulls on his shirt.)

SARA
(OFFSTAGE. Into INTERCOM)
Malter?

GILLIAN
Don’t answer. I know it seems like an extravagance—

MALTER
Is the door locked?

GILLIAN
You prioritizing romance—

SARA
(OFFSTAGE. Into INTERCOM)
Help me bring this junk up.

MALTER
(Into INTERCOM)
Merry Christmas, Aunt Sara.

GILLIAN
Say you’re busy.

MALTER
(Relenting. Into INTERCOM)
You’re two hours early.

SARA
(OFFSTAGE. Into INTERCOM)
The Christmas party is always at six.

MALTER
(Into INTERCOM)
Could you please get some ice?

SARA
(OFFSTAGE. Into INTERCOM)
I’ve got your father’s suits.

GILLIAN
I’ve something to show you.

MALTER
Stop!

SARA
(OFFSTAGE.)
I donated them to the Junior League—After his funeral. But your sister bought them back.

MALTER (Into INTERCOM)
I’m buzzing you in, don’t leave those clothes.

GILLIAN
It’s not my fault you’re so damn gorgeous—and I can’t take my hands off you.

MALTER
Button up your blouse!

Performance History

Produced at Southern Rep and at the Festival Internationale de la France in Lafayette, LA, Apr. 1997, and at the Theatre de Nesle, Paris and the Brotfabrik Theatre, Bonn, Germany, Nov. 1997. The French version staged by actors at the Theatre Workshop Sorbonne Univ. and at the Avignon New Plays Festival, May-July 1998. Voted one of three best plays in Louisiana in 1997 by the Big Easy Theatre and Music Committee, City of New Orleans. Invited stage readings at the Players club, The National Arts Club, St. Agnes 96th St. Library, New York City, 2004.